about 1 year ago
– Sat, Apr 06, 2019 at 01:57:12 AM
I know this update is long overdue, and for that, I am truly sorry. In the time I’ve been gone, I have been trying to deal with serious, debilitating changes to my mental health that I’ve undergone as a result of some drastic changes in my personal life that I had no control over.
During this time, for the sake of my own well-being, I had to put this project on hiatus while I tried to focus my efforts on getting better.
For a long time, I was stuck in denial about how bad it had gotten. I didn’t want to believe that this kind of thing could happen to me, despite my family having a history of it. I was scared to try and get help, and even more scared of the prospect of anyone I knew finding out I was struggling with something like this.
So I isolated myself, I hid away and avoided everyone who tried to ask about my well-being, and I pretended to be okay in front of anyone who came to check up on me. In trying to protect myself, I ended up causing more harm to myself than I could have ever imagined, and after months of what felt like lying to everyone, including myself, culminated in a serious attempt to end my own life.
Since then, I’ve been able to open up to others and I’ve accepted the possibility of needing to attend therapy, or to begin seeing a Doctor.
I’m sorry that this update most likely isn’t the kind of one you’ve all been waiting for, but it is the most honest and transparent one I can possibly give you.
I would like to extend a sincere thank you, and a sincere apology, to everyone who has been patient until now. I really want the strength to keep going and to continue this project, and I’m going to keep working towards that goal.
It might seem like this is all coming out of nowhere, but this is something I’ve been actively struggling with every day for months. It felt like every time I would try to work up the nerve to post an update, something else in my personal life would go awry, and I’d be reset back to not being able to deal with anything else and falling back into radio silence in order to preserve my own fragile mental state.
To formally address every single “scam” claim that has been leveraged against this project, it simply isn’t true. No funds have been spent or depleted since I had to put this project into a status of hiatus, and as a result, the vast majority of the Kickstarter funds are still there, lying dormant. I don’t blame anyone for jumping to this conclusion thanks to the radio silence and lack of updates on my end, I know that blame lies entirely with me.
I just hope that in light of the personal information that has been incredibly hard for me to share here, you can understand how and why it came to this.
I am not making this update in the hopes of gaining any sympathy. All I can ask for is your understanding.